October 2, 2014
Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher gave birth to a baby girl on Tuesday. I cannot wait to see what bizarre Eastern European name they give their daughter. My guess is Ksenya Kunis Kutcher, it just rolls off the tongue.
Real talk: their eventual wedding will be the most star studded event of all time. Forget George Clooney and whats-her-fuck. The entire cast of That 70's Show, Justin Timberlake, Natalie Portman, Cameron Diaz, and Bruce Willis all better fucking be there.
It must be so nice for them to no longer be in relationships with a menopausal woman (sorry Demi) and the meth head from Home Alone (not sorry Macaulay). They're living proof that while sugar mamas and high school boyfriends may get in the way, true love prevails. With that, watch life imitate art in the cutest Jackie-Kelso scene.