September 17, 2013
In the most shocking news I've ever heard ever, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth (I just accidentally typed Neeson, now that would be a hot couple) are officially broken up. Despite all the time I spend ruminating on Miley and Liam's future happiness as a couple, I surprisingly could not feel less apathetic about this news.
I do however wonder why they broke up...
...But I'm totes down to place bets on her next significant other. I'm calling it now, after an inevitable short and sensual affair with a Simon Cowell-esque producer/celebrity she's going to start dating a black woman.