April 21, 2015
It was a hard Monday for celebrity couples - first Big Sean and Ariana Grande broke up because she was grounded for not finishing her 8th grade science project, and now Miley free-the-nipple Cyrus and Patrick Schwarzenegger are on a break. Let's make sure that both of them Tweet that, so we don't have a Rachel and Ross situation. (For the record: they were also on a break).
Miley and Patrick have been dating since November, when they made out at a USC football game. Then Patrick hugged another girl in Cabo over spring break, and the Internet freaked the fuck out because god forbid platonic friendships. But really, Patrick should have learned from Laguna Beach, that Cabo spring break never ends well (see the Stephen, LC, Kristen love triangle from Season 1 and Alex M from Season 2).
Celebrity break-ups and deaths come in threes, so who will be next?? Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, I'm looking at you.