August 31, 2015
Last week Miley Cyrus went on Jimmy Kimmel and talked about her love of ta-tas. She took her breast-loving antics to the stage of Sunday night’s VMA’s, showing off everything but the nipple in basically every outfit she wore.
While everyone was probably expecting a nip slip from Miley, it wasn’t her pair that had Twitter freaking the fuck out during the show.
Kim Kardashian made me want to claw my eyes out. Her outfit was so bad. SO BAD. But the worst part was probably the fact her left nipple was straight staring at you through your TV. I’m trying to listen to Kanye rant about how he wanted people to hate him less, and all I can concentrate on is Kim’s utter disregard for pasties or nipple tape.
Selena Gomez, whose outfits are usually on point IMO, also had a boobgate issue. Her dress looked fine until cameras started flashing and you could see her pasties under her dress.
Nicki Minaj who usually plays up her signature feature, her booty also kind of downplayed her best ass-set during the show and red carpet in favor of more cleavage revealing outfits.
And my favorite outfit of the night, worn by betchy goddess Chrissy Tiegen, was all about the side-boob.
So what does this all mean? I’m thinking boobies are making their comeback. 2014 and 2015 were all about the butt, BUT those days might be over if the VMA trends are accurate.
Flat bottomed betches are probably pretty excited if boobs are making a comeback. We've been in booty-loving mode way too long, and, honestly, I was kind of over it after Amy Schumer so kindly pointed out that "This is where my poop comes out."
And if you’re pumped about the return of the tits too just remember to treat them with kindness. Britney kind of looked like she was trying to stop hers from running away. Poor boobies..