May 9, 2013
Miley Cyrus sees dead people. Or so she claims in one of the most boring ghost stories I've ever read. It was like, "oh there was this mom and dad and son and then the mom got sick and died and then the dad got old and died and now my house is like totally haunted so I had to leave." A horror story of Amityville Horror proportions this is not, sadly. Anyway long story short Miley moved and vowed never return to haunted apartment where there was like, really hot water and I guess now she's on crack. Lay off the peyote Miley, this story reminded me of this amazing scene from Zoolander.
Hansel: So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"
Derek Zoolander: And?
Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius.