October 17, 2012
Upon Mitt Romney’s accidental spillage during tonight’s debate that he has “binders full of women” we knew it was only hours before the truth came out. Betches Love This has found and released a copy of Mitt’s Burn Binder which says mean things about all the girls in Congress. Fuck the wage gap, shit just got personal.
Anderson Cooper – Too gay to function.
Michelle Bachmann made out with a hot dog (one time)
Candy Crowley is fat virgin. **Note: Still half true
Nancy Reagan tried to sell me marijuana tablets.
China is a grotsky little biotch.
Hilary Clinton. Dyke.
Monica Lewinsky - fat whore
This girl is the nastiest skank bitch I've ever met. DO NOT TRUST HER. She is a fugly slut!
Upon the release of Mitt's Burn Binder, some politicians were clearly upset. Luckily they gathered in the
auditorium oval office where they all talked about their issues because Barry threatened to cancel the White House Correspondents Dinner, even though they knew he wouldn't because he already paid the DJ.
Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin because I use super-jumbo tampons. But I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina.
"Condoleeza, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed." - Mitt
Maybe we're not in that book, because everybody likes us. And I don't wanna be punished for being well-liked. And I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this.
I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...
She doesn't even go here!
Cause you don't wanna miss a thing