May 6, 2014
Monica Lewinsky, because she’s realized America has stopped caring and/ or needs money and/or is just being an attention whore, is writing a piece for Vanity Fair about her affair with former president Bill Clinton. The article, which will be released in full on May 8th, is Lewinski’s attempt to stop “tip toeing around [her] past” and share more of her side of the story. In the excerpts that have been released by Vanity Fair, Lewinsky talks about how she was not paid off by the Clintons (sure…), how she couldn’t get a job (no surprise there), and how she “Deeply regrets what happened.” (who the fuck wouldn’t?) Essentially, it looks like Lewinsky is trying to correct America’s image of her, and maybe that would’ve happened…if she hadn’t brought in Beyoncé.
Speaking about how her name is frequently brought up in pop culture, Lewinsky referenced, Beyoncé’s “Partition”, specifically the line “He Monica Lewinsky-ed all on my gown.” “Thanks, Beyoncé,” Lewinsky writes, “but if we’re verbing, I think you meant ‘Bill Clinton’d all on my own,’ not ‘Monica Lewinsky’d.”
Ohhhh helllll no. Listen up, Mon: no one, and I mean NO ONE, corrects Beyoncé. And, TBH, if you’re trying to get America to stop hating you, this is soooo not the way to do it.