April 23, 2013
You could watch this Ryan Seacrest & Kardashian interview betches, or you could skip it because we watched it so we could tell you everything that's even halfway worth knowing. However, if you're in the mood to rewatch Armenian home movies from like 2007 because you're feeling nostalgic or your TV is permanently stuck on E! then feel free to watch the special in full. But don't say we didn't warn you about the consequences of staring at Ryan Seacrest's nose mole for an hour of your life you'll never get back.
Disclaimer: This family is so intensively media-trained and PR-whipped by Kris Jenner so keep your scandal expectations low. The best way we can describe it is like a Special Olympics version of the tamest Real Housewives reunion. Special irony because this one featured an actual regular Olympian.
"Every day when I'm in the shower I cry...not because of my weight but because my penis looks so small" - Rob
"Kourtney and I were having sexual relations while I was driving an automobile on the 101...and she was working her magic so I missed the exit...meanwhile she's honking the horn at everyone like a wild woman, beep beep with her back" - Scott
"I have no real boundaries when it comes to showing my own life, but I do when it comes to my children." - Kourtney (who's had Mason on a microphone since his first word)
"So doll... I think it would be really cool if we ever got married, we should do it in like, a yoga way, with everyone on mats...we wouldn't even talk, we would sign" - Scott, imitating Kourtney
Ryan Seacrest: Could you ever have imagined the impact your life has had on American culture?
Khloe: No, never
Kourtney: I don't even think that I knew we were like, filming a show
Bruce: The thing that really bothers me, Ryan, is when people say, 'Oh they're famous for being famous, they have no talent'
Ryan: What would you say the talent is?
Bruce: Fashion, but where their real talent is as businesswomen, they're very smart.
"I really like socks and now that's turning into boxers and pajamas and all kind of stuff" - Rob
"The fans try to give me sex and baby advice all the time. I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and I was just in there, and someone was like, 'Khlo, if you wanna have a boy, as soon as he finishes inside you just lift your butt up and it's just gonna happen.'" - Khloe
"We get calls from people all the time saying, oh I don't have any sisters so I feel like I'm a part of you...or like, I have sisters too..." - Kim
"There's some downside to the annoying factor of having to spend so much time with her side of the family" - Scott