It’s a time-honored tradition that whenever something bad is happening in the United States, thousands of people threaten that they will literally move to Canada. This has happened many times in the past, but it’s never felt quite so real as it does this year. Yes, Donald Trump will be the Republican nominee, and soon there will be more American refugees than Syrian ones. (But the Syrians still have it worse because holy fuck.)
The problem is, it’s hard to pick up and move to a new country if you don’t have any connections there. This is where new dating site Maple Match comes into the equation. Maple Match is a legitimate dating site with the sole purpose of setting Americans who want to GTFO up with Canadians. For months you’ve dreamed of learning French while you escape the Trump presidency in Montreal? Maple Match will (maybe) help you find a hot French Canadian dude to give you private French lessons while you lick maple syrup off his abs!
If you’re skeptical about this, that probably means you’re a normal person with a heartbeat and a brain. The site sounds like something straight out of an SNL sketch, and their slogan is literally “Make dating great again.” But we promise it’s not fake. In fact, so many people have signed up for Maple Match that there’s currently a waiting list to even make a profile. And, like a Birkin bag, all things with a wait list must be better, right?