September 17, 2015
Damn it Mark Zuckerberg. We're sick of you fucking with our social lives.
The newest Facebook update totally gets rid of your "Oh, I don't check Facebook. Sorry!" excuse, because Facebook is “piloting the ability for private event hosts and guests to know whether their friends they invited have seen the event”. Basically, every event invitation NOW HAS READ RECEIPTS.
Let us explain the potentially horrific consequences this action may have. Now, when that awkward coworker sends you a Facebook event invite to a shitty pregame at her cramped apartment, you can't pretend to ignore it. At least if you open it. And that event invite for the baby shower for a high school friend you haven't seen in years? She'll at least expect a damn gift now.
A complete gamechanger, Facebook, in a completely shit way. You know a better way to check if your friends have received an event invitation? Fucking text them. Say no to read receipts, Facebook. And stop ruining our lives.