NFL Claims It's Over Drugs And Alcohol But We Think They Should Chill

By LaBetch James

The NFL has put up with a lot of shit this year. Alleged domestic abuse, child-beating and assault, just to name a few.

But apparently, the NFL wants nothing to do with drugs and alcohol. Which makes zero fucking sense.

Exhibit A: Cleveland Browns Wide Receiver Josh Gordon

Josh Gordon just got suspended by the NFL for one year for failing an alcohol test. Let me explain.

Back in the day, Josh pretty much lived out every stoner's dream collegiate experience, but he was a football player and got in trouble for it. As a freshman, Josh was found asleep in the parking lot of a Taco Bell in a random car.

That car also was stocked with marijuana. He was high as a kite. He got reprimanded, and then later kicked off the Baylor football team when he failed a drug test.

Moving on.

He got drafted by the Cleveland Browns. He had a really good rookie season. Then he got suspended for the first two games of the 2013 season for failing a drug test. Then after that season he got arrested for a DUI and got suspended for the majority of the 2014 season.

Finally, it seemed like he was getting his shit together. Then he failed an alcohol test in January of 2015.

How in the FUCK do you even fail an alcohol test? Apparently he got off of a private plane, had a few cocktails while on board, and got a call that he had to report for drug testing. And apparently, the NFL mandated he had to be dead fucking sober for a year in order to play in the NFL again. Apparently, Josh said he didn't know about that. Apparently.

So poor Joshy failed, and now he gets suspended from the NFL for a year without pay.

Guys who have beat the shit out of their wives and girlfriends have had less severe pensions than that.

So the betches have one question, NFL. What the fuck is wrong with partying?




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