July 13, 2015
Nicky Hilton got married this weekend to a Rothschild - the European version of the Vanderbilts - and it put Kate Middleton to shame. She's officially become the most successful of her siblings, because she doesn't have an arrest record or a sex tape. #Goals
The ceremony was held at Kensington Palace, which is where Kate and Will live. This would be like if you called to rent the White House for your birthday dinner. Then she wore Valentino and custom Louboutins aka she looked like the Barbie version of Grace Kelly. Their wedding dinner was pizza, sliders, macaroni and cheese, and fries. So like was Nicky drunk when she hired her caterer or was this a ~ vibe??
Obvi Paris was her maid of honor, but unlike Pippa Middleton, her Instagrams instead of her ass outshone Nicky. Conrad Hilton took time off from his busy schedule of losing his shit on airplanes to make an appearance. And Baron - the most discreet of the Hilton clan - appropriately smoked a cig while they took the official photos.
The best part of the whole thing is when NIcky's veil got trapped under a Bentley's tire, which is a nice metaphor for their prenup.