No-Bake Cookies Recipe: For Oven-Haters

By Betchy Crocker

Holiday cookies are a blessing and a curse. Yes, they’re totes delicious, but when you come back from a week at home with an extra 5lbs hanging out on your ass, you know it wasn’t the ham or lasagna or turkey that did it – it was all the fucking cookies you ate.

The very least we can offer to keep it festive is to get rid of some of those pesky steps for baking … mostly because baking in general sucks (unless you’re talking about THAT baking…).

This recipe combines some of our fav things, like Nutella and alcohol. So, hooray for cookies.


  • ½ cup unsalted butter
  • 1 ½ cups sugar
  • ½ cup milk
  • 3 tbsps Ghirardelli (or other fucking good kind) cocoa powder
  • ¾ cup Nutella
  • 1 tsp Kahlua
  • A pinch of salt
  • 3 cups old-fashioned oats (do NOT buy quick cooking)
  • ½ cup hazelnuts, chopped
  • ¼ cup flaked coconut

Combine butter, milk, sugar, and cocoa powder in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring until melted together. Bring to a boil, and then cook for about a minute. Add the Nutella, Kahlua, and salt and stir until the mixture is smooth. Remove from the heat and pour into a bowl with the oats, hazelnuts, and coconut, stirring until totally moistened. This isn’t unlike the granola I already fucking told you how to make.

On a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, drop the cookies by rounded tablespoons. You can flatten them out or leave them looking like little cat turds – it doesn’t matter. They’re fucking delicious and you didn’t have to do much to make them.




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