January 30, 2012
You're bored. We know this not because it's Monday, but because being bored is a fundamental creed of The Betch Life. We're almost willing to bet you found this site because you were bored and stalking someone's Facebook profile one day...which now brings you to this post about...being bored. So from now on, instead of thanking our fans (Wait, did we ever thank our fans? Whatever.) we're going to worship the bestie who's literally always by our side, boredom.
For the average person, being bored is a bad thing but since betches are not average people, boredom is our Zen. Speaking of Zen, there should be a movement for Boredom to be capitalized permanently. Like, show some fucking respect. Achieving the perfect state of Boredom should be sanctioned by the Pope as a fucking religious tenet with a mandatory pilgrimage to sidereel.com.
So why do betches love being bored? It's actually very profound. It's because compared to our awesomeness, everyone and everything else seems lackluster. Plus the fact that we're bored all the time means that we've developed a keen appreciation for the most important things: talking about ourselves and how bored we are, and getting fucked up. This is why, while ordinary people do things to not be bored, the betch lifestyle actually reinforces boredom through our psuedo-hobbies of #36 not doing work, #80 bitching, and #61 yoga.
Productive Unenlightened people will argue that boredom is an uncomfortable feeling, so why would we want to feel that way? Not that we're more evolved or hormonally superior, but we disagree. It's kind of the "it's like whatever" of moods. Boredom is actually one of our favorite emotions in that it involves none.
sushi to be delivered. Being bored is an art because it involves being dissatisfied despite an enormous array of things you could potentially be doing. When this happens, looking at yourself in the mirror is usually the only activity to put you at ease.
Ever been to a club, 15 shots deep, surrounded by your besties but all you kept thinking was Ugh there's nothing interesting going on with my phone so I'm BORED AS FUCK? If yes, then congrats betch, you totally fucking get it.
As you probably already know, society encourages us to keep busy and generally looks down on idle citizens. Although in reality this is only true for unproductive ugly people. Lucky for us, our beauty gets a free pass to doing anything because activity is for the overweight. To reiterate this important double standard, Paris Hilton not doing anything all the time: OKAY. Poor teen moms on welfare not doing anything all the time: NOT OKAY.
To those who criticize us for being constantly bored and not contributing to civilization, we say that boredom can claim full responsibility for the existence of Betches Love This, what other society is there?
So betches, take our word for it and spend today doing nothing but relishing in your own boredom. After all, what's more productive than backstalking yourself through 2005?