253. Not Knowing How Technology Works

By Miss Ameribetch

As a betch, we pride ourselves in being knowledgeable about shit but only to a certain extent. Technology is one of those things that doesn’t make the cut. Like the iceberg in Titanic, we only understand the tip – any more would just like break us down.

Don’t get us wrong, whenever a new iPhone comes out, we are all about owning it. But if we understood how they worked, we probably wouldn’t be that interested in owning one tbh. Much like babies.  I mean, we can’t be expected to download the new apps and start the trends for America AND also understand how these apps were created.

This can be inconvenient at times, like when your phone decides to send every text as green or when a photo saves three times and leaves you thinking, what is the point of the Cloud anyway? We have enough common sense not to spill iced coffee on our laptop, but anything beyond that is a foreign language. Thankfully, the world is full of people that know more about technology and for some reason even pride themselves on this. So much, in fact, that at the Apple store they refer to themselves as Geniuses. Lol, ok.

Good thing for us these nerds will jump at the chance to solve your technology problems, because it makes them feel smarter, and everybody wins. In a way, by asking a startup bro for help with something computer related, you are doing charity by boosting his confidence. Very generous of you.

This technology illiteracy is totally fine, because at work there’s a whole department that makes their living off solving your tech problems. Like, why learn what a RAM is when the fact that you have no idea is the reason somebody has a job?  

The way we look at technology is similar to how we feel about moving ourselves. Like, we could theoretically lift weights and get strong enough to carry our own shit when we move, but what’s the point of that? Technology is for owning. If we learned any more about it, we’d ruin the mystery, and then we’d stop buying your tech products. So, you’re welcome. Plus, according to that new movie, Steve Jobs was a dick. 




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