April 1, 2015
Diageo - this huge alcohol manufacturer - is adding nutrition labels to their alcohol bottles because they're the assholes of the century. Like seriously, this is the dumbest shit ever because if you can remember the number of drinks you've had in a night, you're doing it wrong and if you're not going to drink because you don't want the calories, you're probably a super fucking boring person. The only good thing this could bring is that now I'll know how much I can eat during the day before I start drinking - plus I'll get drunk faster on an empty stomach.
Smirnoff, Captain Morgan, Ketel One, Johnnie Walker, Bailey's, and Tanqueray will all tell you how many calories are in a single shot, which might be a fun drinking game. You have to do shots until you can't correctly add how many calories you've drunk. They'll also label beers like Guiness, Harp Lager, and Red Stripe, but like we already knew that beer was fucking gross, so it's not really a loss. The good news is that Diageo only owns two kinds of wine: Blossom Hill and Chalone. So we can still drink in peace on Wine Wednesday.