February 13, 2015
Barack Obama will pretty much do anything if he gets to plug Obamacare (see Zach Galifinakas interview), so he made a Buzzfeed Video - which for the record, is one of the best things on the Internet. The video is "Things Everyone Does But No One Talks About", but I'm confused as to why he didn't include binge drinking wine and watching Netflix. Here's a full list of things Obama does but doesn't talk about:
1. Practices his facial expressions in the mirror. This is legit advice from Tyra Banks to the contestants on America's Next Top Model.
2. Practices saying words in the mirror. Just saying, his mirror is dirty as fuck, so he's probably a spit talker - fucking gross (poor Michelle)
3. Uses a selfie stick to take "cute" and "funny" pics. Too bad he wasn't wearing his "Bid Day 2k15" tank top.
4. He "Thanks Obama," so now I'll be saying it at least twice as often as before this video. Before and after pics of Miley Cyrus would have been a nice artistic touch here.
5. He pretends to play basketball in everyday situations like every other bro with mild to severe daddy issues.
6. He says "Can I live" - this is the absolute most important thing a President has ever said (sorry FDR). Next time you say this - so in like 5 minutes - you should probably say that you're quoting Obama, makes you seem way more legit.
I haven't felt this patriotic since the SuperBowl, so thanks Obama - you made my week.