OMG! Taylor Swift Has No Friends

By The Betches

Betch or Annoying Nice Girl? T-Swift really needs to make up her mind because one moment she’s writing songs that diss literally everyone she’s ever met, especially anyone who dared to make eye contact with her, the next she’s baking fucking pumpkin spice cookies and inviting strangers to come party with her. When I say party, I don’t mean a real party, I mean like the Halloween parties that your teacher threw in elementary school.

Perhaps she’s tired of not receiving proper adoration from fellow famous frenemies and has decided to give herself the present of being surrounded by adoring fans. Maybe Selena Gomez was all booked up this fall so betch thought she’d show off her friend making skills by constantly posting photos with randos. Oh, and her cats were apparently there too. Fucking weirdo. Either way, I don’t understand.

If this pop icon needs a little self-esteem boost she should do what everyone else does and spend a weekend away at a spa or just an adoring bro to cater to her every need. IMO blondie needs to get wasted and burn off some steam because if I see one more Instagram containing her fans and baked goods I’m going to have to call a nursing home and tell them that they better make room for a new resident.

I have so many questions though, like how the fuck does she pick which fans come to these parties? Is there a secret elite T-Swift fan group? Will there a a new song titled ‘All My Friends Are Strangers’ or “I’m dating my Followers” or better yet “No Pumpkin Space Cookies for Katy Perry?






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