September 24, 2014
One Direction, which is apparently still a thing (I thought at least one had ODed by now), had someone ghost write their autobiography. I already know the amount of money they're going to make will make me nauseous, especially considering how dumb this book is going to be. Zayn Malik "reveals" in this beacon of cultural relevance that Russell Brand educated him about birth control. What the actual fuck?? First of all, Russell Brand gave somebody life advice. Who allowed that shit to happen? He obvi did not want to knock up Katy Perry. Jesus, what would that genetic mix even look like? Second of all, that moment was important enough in Zayn's life for him to include it in an autobiography.
This is what the world is coming to. At least 'N Sync had the decency to know when to shut the fuck up.