March 26, 2015
Zayn Malik peaced the fuck out from One Direction this week, just like me in 2012, and the other boys in 1D had some pretty stellar reactions.
1. Harry Styles cried in public during a concert (betch faux pas), in the words of Abby Lee Miller: save it for your life-size pillow of Kendall Jenner. He then Tweeted "All the love as always. H." That might be about Zayn leaving or a shitty apology to his fans about his PMS break down. There are a ton of rumors that Harry will be the next member of the band to leave and either go solo (lol) or start an acting career - just because it worked for Justin Timberlake, doesn't mean it's going to work for him.
2. Liam Payne tweeted a pic of the band but covered up Zayn's face, kind of like a drunken entry in the burn book that you accidentally tweet. He captioned it "#makinglightofasituation sorry for the laughs guys." That hashtag is #waytoofuckinglong. People lost their shit over this because pubescent teenage girls whose world revolves around 5 boys they've never met aren't exactly emotionally stable. I'm pretty sure the drinking age is 21 so that boy-band fans can't get drunk, they're bad enough sober.
3. Louis and Niall didn't say anything mostly because Niall doesn't speak english and Louis was busy looking at himself in the mirror.
4. Simon Cowell tweeted "sometimes strength is not defined by numbers" aka GTFO Zayn.
All in all, they covered every aspect of a breakup: tears, sarcasm, feigned indifference, and a subtweet.