Tbh, idk how much more of this beverage shortage shit I can take. Earlier in the year we let you know prosecco was running out and that Champagne grapes didn’t so hot this year so there’s less of that too. And last week, we found out Diet Coke is on the verge of extinction. I mean, what’s even left at this point? Orange juice. That’s what. The second most important ingredient in mimosas. And now, breaking fucking news, there was a shitty orange harvest so O.J. is about to become a rarity aka more expensive. Thanks a lot, Florida.
Non-betchy people are talking about how much this blows because of the time of year and people getting sick and needing vitamin C blah blah blah. But the rest of us understand the real crisis here: fucking mimosas. No word if this shortage would actually cause orange juice to go away, but it is about to cost more, and so are Champs and/or prosecco so the price of my go-to Sunday morning bottomless mimosa bar is about to go through the damn roof. I’m gonna have to be a fucking Kardashian to afford brunch at this rate. But at least there’s no reported shortage of vodka or tomato juice because if mimosas AND bloodies go, I just don’t think I’ll want to be a part of this planet anymore.