2014 Oscar Nominations

By The Betches

This morning the 2014 Oscar nominations were announced by none other than Chris Hemsworth (we don't know how he got this gig...we assume because there was actually zero risk of him getting nominated and having to read his own name awkwardly).

We've gone ahead and done you the favor of sorting out the nominations in a way you probably won't find anywhere else on the internet -- in the categories you give a shit about (so you can read them) and the categories you don't (so you can ignore them). Feel free to leave your predictions in the comments, especially if you're psychic.

Categories You Give a Shit About

Best Picture


American Hustle


Captain Phillips


Dallas Buyers Club

12 Years a Slave

The Wolf of Wall Street



Lead Actor

Leonardo DiCaprio / The Wolf of Wall Street

Christian Bale / American Hustle

Bruce Dern / Nebraska

Chiwetel Ejiofor / 12 Years a Slave 

Matthew McConaughey / Dallas Buyers Club


Lead Actress

Cate Blanchett / Blue Jasmine

Amy Adams / American Hustle

Sandra Bullock / Gravity 

Judi Dench / Philomena

Meryl Streep / August: Osage County


Supporting Actor

Jonah Hill / The Wolf of Wall Street

Barkhad Abdi / Captain Phillips

Bradley Cooper / American Hustle 

Michael Fassbender / 12 Years a Slave

Jared Leto / Dallas Buyers Club


Supporting Actress

Jennifer Lawrence / American Hustle

Sally Hawkins / Blue Jasmine

Lupita Nyong'o / 12 Years a Slave

Julia Roberts / August: Osage County 

June Squibb / Nebraska



Martin Scorsese / The Wolf of Wallstreet

David O. Russell / American Hustle

Alfonso Cuaron / Gravity

Alexander Payne / Nebraska

Steve McQueen / 12 Years a Slave


Writing: Adapted Screenplay

Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke / Before Midnight

Billy Ray / Captain Phillips

Steve Coogan, Jeff Pope / Philomena

John Ridley / 12 Years a Slave

Terence Winter / The Wolf of Wallstreet


Writing: Original Screenplay

Spike Jonze / Her

Eric Warren Singer, David O. Russell / American Hustle

Woody Allen / Blue Jasmine

Craig Borten, Melisa Wallack / Dallas Buyers Club

Bob Nelson / Nebraska


Categories You Might Give a shit about

Foreign Language Film

The Broken Circle Breakdown / Belgium

The Great Beauty / Italy

The Hunt / Denmark

The Missing Picture / Cambodia 

Omar / Palestine


Animated Feature Film

The Croods

Despicable Me 2

Ernest & Celestine


The Wind Rises


Film Editing

Jay Cassidy, Crispin Struthers and Alan Baumgarten / American Hustle

Christopher Rouse / Captain Phillips

John Mac McMurphy and Martin Pensa / Dallas Buyers Club

Alfonso Cuarón and Mark Sanger / Gravity

Joe Walker / 12 Years a Slave



Philippe Le Sourde / The Grandmaster

Emmanuel Lubezki / Gravity

Bruno Delbonnel / Inside Llewyn Davis

Phedon Papamichael / Nebraska

Roger A. Deakins / Prisoners


Documentary Feature

Joshua Oppenheimer and Signe Byrge Sørensen / The Act of Killing

Zachary Heinzerling and Lydia Dean Pilcher / Cutie and the Boxer

Richard Rowley and Jeremy Scahill / Dirty Wars

Jehane Noujaim and Karim Amer / The Square

20 Feet from Stardom


Categories no one gives a shit about

Costume Design

Michale Wilkinson / American Hustle

William Chang Suk Ping / The Grandmaster

Catherine Martin / The Great Gatsby

Michael O'Connor / The Invisible Woman

Patricia Norris / 12 Years a Slave


Documentary Short Subject

Jeffrey Karoff / CaveDigger

Jason Cohen / Facing Fear

Sara Ishaq / Karama Has No Walls

Malcolm Clarke and Nicholas Reed / The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life

Edgar Barens / Prison Terminal: The Last Days of Private Jack Hall


Makeup and Hairstyling 

Adruitha Lee and Robin Mathews / Dallas Buyers Club

Stephen Prouty / Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

Joel Harlow and Gloria Pasqua-Casny / The Lone Ranger


Music: Original Score

John Williams / The Book Thief

Steven Price / Gravity

William Butler, Owen Pallet / Her

Alexandre Desplat / Philomena 

Thomas Newman / Saving Mr. Banks


Music: Original Song

"Alone Yet Not Alone" from ALONE YET NOT ALONE, Music by Bruce Broughton; Lyric by Dennis Spiegel

"Happy" from DESPICABLE ME 2, Music and Lyric by Pharrell Williams

"Let it Go" from FROZEN, Music and Lyric by Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez

"The Moon Song" from HER, Music by Karen O; Lyric by Karen O and Spike Jonze

"Ordinary Love" from MANDELA: LONG WALK TO FREEDOM, Music by Paul Hewson, Dave Evans, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen; Lyric by Paul Hewson


Production Design

Judy Becker (Production Design); Heather Loeffler (Set Decoration) / American Hustle

Andy Nicholson (Production Design); Rosie Goodwin and Joanne Woollard (Set Decoration) / Gravity

Catherine Martin (Production Design); Beverley Dunn (Set Decoration) / The Great Gatsby

K.K. Barrett (Production Design); Gene Serdena (Set Decoration) / Her

Adam Stockhausen (Production Design); Alice Baker (Set Decoration) / 12 Years a Slave


Animated Short Film


Get a Horse!

Mr. Hublot


Room on the Broom


Live Action Short Film

Aquel No Era Yo (That Wasn't Me)

Avant Que De Tout Perdre (Just Before Losing Everything)


Pitääkö Mun Kaikki Hoitaa? (Do I Have to Take Care of Everything?)

The Voorman Problem


Sound Editing

Steve Boeddeker, Richard Hymns / All is Lost

Oliver Tarney / Captain Phillips

Glenn Freemantle / Gravity

Brent Burge / The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Wylie Stateman / Lone Survivor


Sound Mixing

Chris Burdon, Mark Taylor, Mike Prestwood Smith and Chris Munro / Captain Phillips

Skip Lievsay, Niv Adiri, Christopher Benstead and Chris Munro / Gravity

Christopher Boyes, Michael Hedges, Michael Semanick and Tony Johnson / The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Skip Lievsay, Greg Orloff and Peter F. Kurland / Inside Llewyn Davis

Andy Koyama, Beau Borders and David Brownlow / Lone Survivor


Visual Effects

Tim Webber, Chris Lawrence, Dave Shirk and Neil Corbould / Gravity

Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, David Clayton and Eric Reynolds / The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Christopher Townsend, Guy Williams, Erik Nash and Dan Sudick / Iron Man 3

Tim Alexander, Gary Brozenich, Edson Williams and John Frazier / The Lone Ranger

Roger Guyett, Patrick Tubach, Ben Grossmann and Burt Dalton / Star Trek Into Darkness




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