May 6, 2015
Panera Bread aka carbs' bestie and betches' frenemy has decided to stop using artificial ingredients in their food. They're getting rid of artificial sweeteners, preservatives, and artificial flavors aka their pastries are about to get really shitty. They now have a "no-no" list of ingredients so if you eat them you'll have to sit in timeout and won't be able to eat your bread bowl. Seriously, the "no-no" list is full of random chemical names and is the stupidest PR stunt a fast-food chain has done since Taco Bell's waffle breakfast taco.
This basically means that Panera isn't going to pretend like a salad is healthy if the salad dressing is 100% sugar. I don't really give a shit as long as I can still hate myself for eating their heavenly macaroni and cheese.