Paris Hilton Was Bored And Bought A Small As Fuck Dog

By Queen Elizabetch

Move over Tinkerbell: Paris Hilton bought a new Pomeranian puppy and he's worth more money than most houses west of the Mississippi River. Like legit the betch payed $13,000 for a bitch. You could buy 3,000 frappacinos or a 135 year subscription to Netflix for that amount. So Paris casually was like "my sister is getting married before me and I want to feel relevant again" so she ordered a puppy from a company that breeds dogs in South Korea and then ships them to people all of the world, aka the same process for mail order brides. The puppy was originally named Mr. Amazing (gag me), but Paris has asked her fans to suggest new names. Can I suggest "Daddy Issues"??  Also, the puppy is small as shit. He's actually the same size as a pair of Chanel sunglasses and weighs 1 pound. Best of luck Unnamed Hilton Puppy, you're going to need it.






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