January 21, 2015
So, according to rumors and irresponsible insta posts, Paris Hilton is dating a child. Not that anyone really cares who the 33-year old, drunk –eyed millionairess is shacking up with, but it’s still pretty fucking gross. Who’s the guy? It’s some 18-year old Australian model named Jordan Barrett. She’s definitely old enough to be his teen mom, and with her sexual habits and overall idiocy, no one would be surprised if she had a couple illegitimate rugrats running around.
The two were seen and documented via both of their instas a few days ago at a club in Milan. Despite Jordan’s duck face and cheek bones (suggesting more of a gay bff status than a bf) the two looked pretty cozy together with Paris kissing his cheek and showing so much cleavage that I’m sure a nip slip was inevitable.
Maybe this is a last-ditch attempt for Paris to stay relevant due to the fact that the only thing she’s remembered for these days is overpaying for a rodent-dog and having the biggest feet in California. But whatever the reason, Paris is out there reminding us that she’s still here and that she’s still got it…although “it” may just be pedophilia and a legit plastic surgeon.