August 13, 2014
Ready for today’s dose of facts that will make you feel bad about yourself? Here it is: Paris Hilton made $2.7 million for 4 nights of DJing. That’s almost 350k per hour. In other words, that’s way more than you’re making all year.
Paris is also the first DJ to have someone else DJ for her. Trailblazer.
Paris kicked off her DJ tour (why is that a thing?) at Amnesia Club in Ibiza, where she has residency. I for one want to know, if Paris has residency, does that mean I can get it too? Is there a formal application process? Skills: working index finger that is adept at pressing Play on iPods of all shapes, sizes, and generations. Am I hired yet?
A source who kept it real said, “The crowds do seem to enjoy it but most are too off their faces to care that she’s simply pressed play on a Beyoncé megamix.”
Did she even create the megamix herself? Would that even make me feel better about my life? The answer to both of those questions is: prob not.
But don’t give up hope yet, betches. Who knows, if your dad becomes a billionaire (or is he a trillionaire? Idk) and gets you a reality show, years down the line when you're practically irrelevant, you can take your love of partying and Beyoncé to the next level by making millions to hit a button. Which btw is more than Deadmau5 and Tiesto make…combined. Do you think this means Paris is headlining Tomorrowworld?
I say we find the people who are paying Paris to stand behind the DJ booth, and we nominate them all for the Ice Bucket Challenge.