October 8, 2014
Clearly some Penn state bros didn't listen to our rules about not being ugly, not being poor, and not being easy. There is nothing more poor than stealing beers (Natty Light to be specific, not even some quality shit) from a frat house. Except getting arrested for it.
Two 21-year olds (AKA they can legally buy their own shit) broke into the Kappa Delta Rho frat house and stole three beers. Three beers isn't even enough to get us halfway to the prime level of drunkenness so we really can't imagine what these dumbasses were thinking. Who the fuck breaks into a house for three shitty beers?
The embarrassment of this incident is not enough to punish them. The KDR bros are way ahead of the curve (as ahead as frat bros can be) and have cameras set up in their house. The video surveillance of the night helped police identify the two imbeciles and they now face a $370 fee in damages and potential criminal and felony charges.
At the end of the night, at least they had their beers. Hopefully they know they don't serve Natty in prison.