July 7, 2014
Dear People Who Use Exclamation Points,
As a betch, I make a conscious effort not to show emotion, so naturally nothing annoys me more than punctuation made up solely to express it. Cue the exclamation point. There is no faster way to not get a response than to end a text or an email with an exclamation point. Seriously. My lack of a response is your response until you grow up and learn to communicate minimally and appropriately.
YAY! See you soon! Not if you keep talking like that.
Like most modern day betches, I’m at a fragile place in life where pretending to be professional has become a necessity, so I’d also like to discuss how unprofessional and not to mention insanely annoying exclamation points are in work related emails. One is questionable. Two and we’re done.
Hope you had a great weekend! Your hours for last week are late, get them to me ASAP!!! :)
That email is awful and so is fake Karen.
Not to be a grammar psycho, but exclamation points actually serve a purpose and it’s not to emphasize your glee over the low-cal donut you just suckled. Omg that was amaaazzing!! No. Just stop.
Back in the good old days, exclamation points were used for exclamations like OMG! and EW! People who misuse exclamation points are basically giving the middle finger to the English language and my sanity so I’d like them to all collectively take a lap. Think about yourself the next time you consider using the evil upside-down i, and then don't.