February 9, 2015
Scientists are making a pill that makes you feel full and burns calories aka the most important scientific advance of our time. Basically, you take this pill and your body thinks you've eaten a full meal, so it does all of the usual digestive shit, which burns calories. It's pretty much just a better version of Adderall. So instead of eating a cheese cube when you feel like you're going to pass out, you just pop one of these and lose 3 pounds. Sororities have already started ordering these in bulk.