PLL Recap: Jason and His Shaft

By The Betches

Last night's PLL was about as stupid as all the waiters in Barcelona. I don't know what it was, perhaps the acting or the absurd plot lines, but Jason DeLaurantis falling down an elevator shaft was about as climactic as Aria spilling wine on Cece's white rug.

Who knew that Jason D was such a fucking loser? He shows up to his house with what can only be described as Frank Gallagher's idea of heaven, but instead of throwing a huge party he pours all of the whiskey out on the lawn. Ugh that made me so upset, I was about to push Jason down the elevator myself.

On that note, sup with all the whiskey drinking? In just a couple episodes A moved on from bobble heads to bottles of alcohol. Did she just turn 21?


Aria: K Doctor Hannah pretty sure when you and Caleb broke up you ditched school and only ate eskimo pies for a week
Hanna: K calm down they were skinny cows and it was 4 days

...Spoken like a true former fatty.

You miss one episode of this show and suddenly Caleb has a Jewish white dad.

LOL: Caleb channeling his inner Love Actually monologue, "I hate Uncle Jamie! I hate Uncle Jamie!"

Caleb and Hanna sitting in a tree d-a-d-d-y-i-s-s-u-e-s

Is it me or is Caleb's barbarian farmer dad creepy as fuck... "the trip was longer than I thought….anything decaf" Decaf coffee? That's like sacrilege to the betch faith.

Why does Hanna insist on saying pastor every time she mentions Pastor Dan. Omg he's totally like, Rosewoods's Lieutenant Dan.

i swear Caleb just said "he thinks I'm the luckiest Persian ever."  That reminds me I missed last week's shah's of sunset, can't even imagine how bushy Asa's brows got.


The plaid, the stripes and the polka dotted tie…. we get it Aria, you miss the days of Avril Lavigne.

I'm enjoying this new blossoming romance between Aria and the hotter Fitz….but like, why you gotta go and make things so complicated?


If Spencer is ditching school then like, why is she at school?

I love when Spencer goes nuts on Emily claminig this is the new Spencer Hastings. "Get with it emily, I LOOK ONLY SLIGHTLY TIRED AND I'M NOT WEARING ANY MAKEUP… THIS IS THE NEW ME" 

Spencer to the irrationally hot nerd who's afraid Emily will see him naked: "Relax…you're not her type"

"Oh Andrew I didn't recognize you in clothes"

If Spencer was really going crazy she'd be drinking vodka not water.

Okay fine, she goes batshit and gives Mona a well deserved pounding. And by pounding we mean she straddled her and lightly poked her 2 to 3 times.


Emily Schmemily I totally DGAF. Can you chill out or something? Like go for a fucking swim. Stop running around Rosewood with a permanent look on your face as if someone just killed your cat or stole your birkenstocks.




Powered by Disqus




Forgot Your Password?

Create new account

User login