July 24, 2013
This week on Pretty Little Liars everything that we expected to happen happened. And since the shit we expect from PLL are random unidentified cars with no drivers crashing into residential homes along with prison visits and an investigatory break-in by teenage girls to a murder victim's home, it's safe to say that it's was just another day in the life of Rosewood residents.
The only difference this week was that Caleb and Toby colluded to form a male murder mystery group that they were trying to make into a Sherlock Holmes/Doctor Watson duo but instead played out way more like Derek Zoolander and Hansel scheming against Mugatu. That is, if Derek had a huge fucking forehead and Hansel died his hair Brown in an attempt to look like an unkempt Winona Ryder. Finally, when Caleb said this actual statement to Toby: "How did red coat get from Thornhill all the way back to town to frame Hanna's mom?" I officially gave up on the idea that I will ever know what the fuck is going on in this show.
Spencer would wear plastic gloves while doing the dishes. She def has OCD.
How the fuck did Spencer think she was getting into Penn? I've never seen her do ANY homework and I don't think Penn accepts "independent crime solver" on their list of acceptable after school activities.
Who's Shawna and where are her cheap K Mart hair extensions? Oh okay I just googled her and it looks like she's just another lesbian on the swim team.
Spencer: The only way we're getting Hanna through this is with frosting and a spoon. Even when Hanna's mom's in prison her friends still can't lay off the fat jokes.
Since when are people as old as Hanna's mom named Ashley? Speaking of Ashley, her makeup looks fantastic for a prison inmate. Who does her makeup? That bitch who looks like Carla Tortelli from Cheers?
A deep thought by the PLL writers:
Hanna: They're starring at me all judgey eyes like that woman in the book who knits.
Ezra: There are a lot of books in the world.
Seriously what the fuck is Hannah wearing on her second visit to her mother in prison? I see ruffles and not the good kind.
Who the fuck gets questioned in the stairwell, Aria. Doesn't your fat principal have an office where he could discuss this?
Sorry for the following rant regarding the Liars breaking into Wilden's apartment but: REALLY? WOULD THE COPS LEAVE AN UNOPENED PACKAGE UNOPENED WHEN CHECKING A MURDER VICTIM'S APARTMENT? REALLY!?
When's the last time anyone printed out directions, Emily? It's called google maps and it's on your iPhone.
These girls really think they're going to be the best at uncovering who the murder of Wilden is? Who do they think they are, Slutty Dexter?
Does anyone else notice some homoerotic tension between Caleb and the Tobester? Seriously they have better sexual chemistry than Aria and all the old teachers she dates.
Caleb on Toby's lighter: The NW is bigger, North West so maybe the Kardashians are in on this.
Toby: Somebody's blowin' a lot of smoke. I'm guessing it's my buddy Nigel! This reminded me of this video:
Emily makes the same fucking face everytime something weird happens.
Just when you thought this show couldn't get anymore fucking stupid someone drives a car through Emily's house.
A prepares to send Emily a gift card along with a "Home Repair for morons" while wearing black gloves. I can't decide if this is funny because it's ridiculous or because Emily is so poor she'd prob have to do her own home repairs.