PLL Recap: Lo Mein and a Side of Steamed Hastings

By The Betches

February 20, 2013

It really amazes me that there can be a show on TV that is so fucking stupid but so fucking good. Sure we watch Revenge, but the two shows are different in that watching PLL is exciting while Revenge is on par with getting a root canal.

But we still seriously wonder, what if these girls just like, stopped caring? Like what if they didn't meet up late night in a closed coffee shop to discuss A-related shit and instead went home to watch the Bachelor Tell All Sean Says Stupid Shit? And what if Emily was like, alright Bruce have fun at the costume store, I'm gonna go do some laps. Or what if Hanna didn't stand in the street staring at Wilden as if she was still hefty and he was a McDonald's value meal?

I guess there wouldn't be a show but it's still a valid question. Other valid questions include: since when does Paige look like an actual girl? Why does Bing have the worst marketing team? And like, can't the "girl in the red coat" just like, get a new jacket? I hear Bloomingdales is having a sale.

Detective Wilden

Wilden showing up to the coffee shop is some of the worst acting I've seen since Kristen Bell in When in Rome.

Hanna's mom: Where are you going with this?
Wilden: I'm trying to recreate Bridesmaids. I loved those little pastries, what did you call them?
Hanna's mom: Cream puffs?

Police brutality much detective Wilden? Cece is so the new Rodney King.


Hanna's so stupid thinking A will retire. There's no pension and social security check when your job is stalking teenagers.

"Are you sure Shana is gay? She barely looked at me."

Hanna: Mom what's wrong?
Hanna's mom: I think I may have killed detective Wilden and finished like, an entire pint of ice cream. It wasn't even froyo.


"New rule anytime we see something important to us down the road, goes in the phone" …. You know, that information might have been a little more usefull to me 5 SEASON AGO!

Ugh I am so over Ezra and his goddamn annoying son. Is it not enough that you're a creepy old teacher fucking his student do you really have to be a stellar dad in a polo at your kids soccer games as well?

Also the Ezraria thing is sort of getting boring, maybe it's time Aria fucked his brother to spice up her vegan takeout.

For some reason when Aria said to Spencer, "you're not the only one who can use a little team Sparia," I just wanted to scream SPARTAAAA!


Not that any of us have ever like worked as a barista, but since when is it okay for employees to chill on the premises after hours and indulge in the product for free with their accident prone friends?

Ok so now Em is like a pro hacker, did Nolan give her a few lessons at the gay bar?

I do know I like your leather sleeved denim jacket but I don't know if society is ready for this lesbian love triangle on network television.


Sick new 'do Melissa. Who was it inspired by? Your mannish mom or Jenny from the block?

This Aria rescuing Spencer thing reminded me of when Miranda blew out her back and Carrie sent Aidan to pick her up from the bathroom.

Aria's mom is all like "I'm not a regular mom, I'm your English teacher."

Ok so can someone clue me in on why these electronic showers are all of a sudden so popular. First we see it in Mindy then in Girls? When have chic showers became as trendy as like Abraham Lincoln and terrorists?

Alright Spencer, it's just a plastic plunger not a fucking metal chain, you could have definitely figured that one out.

Spencer to Aria about the Toby shower stint: "This is revenge" ...No, this is PLL.


What is A now, a florist?


Last week's recap>>








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