March 13, 2013
Last night on PLL a whole bunch of exciting things happened. The girls wore a very inconspicuous pink and white candy stripers consume to casually check out the morgue and Caleb whined about his dad. Caleb, Yo soy tu papa. And while everyone goes to visit Spencer in the looney bin, they forget to bring the most essential thing for S right now: Preparation H for under the eyes. That shit is darker than a Southern plantation circa 1850.
Oh and Allison made like, 2 dead-girl cameos this week! I like how Allison is like the Samantha Jones of the show. Huge blonde slut and says weird shit like "oh honey, you didn't even know me when you knew me."
"After the whole 'falling off the bed' incident." Jesus Ezra it's not like she pushed him.
A stole your boyfriend's kid? You should just let her keep him.
So A takes the kid, goes to a puppet show, wears black leather gloves to steal popcorn from said kid, and gets away with it. Who does she think she is, OJ?
But then again what does she even get away with? NOTHING HAPPENED. We're going to say this again, doesn't this bitch have a better way to spend her time? Like instead of babysitting a random kid for an hour she could be getting a mani/pedi so she wouldn't have to wear those fugly gloves?
Aria wins the award for worst babysitter ever.
God Caleb the last thing formerly Hefty Hannah wants is to be taken out to dinner.
Caleb: Mmm is that new perfume.
Hanna: NO it's air freshener.
Caleb is looking a lot like Winona Ryder with his new haircut.
During his rant to his dad I want Caleb to start singing the "Daddy wasn't there to take me to the fair" song from Austin Powers.
"We've been to that morgue before what's stopping us from going back." The fact that they can even say these lines with a straight face makes me hate that I love this show even more.
On the dead guy in the woods: "It's not Toby! It's the guy who works at fun craft!
Okay Emily, your mom is the worst cop, or whatever position she holds at the precinct, ever. "So i have like, really sensitive information that I'm not allowed to share with anyone, but just promise me you won't tell anyone?….Pinky swear!? …. Cross your heart and hope to die? Stick a needle in your eye?" I'd love to stick a fucking needle in your eye.
"They don't make a loofah that scrapes out the inside of your head." Right Spence but they do make a hairbrush that can help you with whatever animal infestation is going on atop your head.
So Mona was obsessed with this random board game? What is this shit, battleship for pirates?
OMG Wren isn't here for the right reasons!! Oh wait wrong show.
What the fuck is that nightgown Spencer why are you A Little Princess? That would make your male nurse the Magic Indian bro.
Now, do all psych wards in Rosewood come with a black hoodie or do you need to specially order that shit from Explosion Sportswear?
"I'm looking for something. The star on Mona's gameboard and my white collarless shirt from Fred Segal"