Pretty Little Liars Recap: Ali's Mom Has Nothing Going On

By The Betches

This week's episode of Pretty Little Liars was overflowing with weird lesbian tension and excessive footage of old ass Dr. Palmer.


Spencer: is it an A text?
Emily: no worse it's from my mother … AMEN

When Ali's mom asked if Emily wanted some hangers: "I don't really wear things that need to be hung up, mostly flannels and cargo pants"

So we're just not going to talk about how extraordinarily fucked up it is to force your daughter to stay in the room--nay SLEEP IN THE BED --- of her murdered BFF? 

Did Ali's mom essentially just say "yeah I wish my daughter were a lesbian you girls would've been perf together" … ?


Why are you dressed like Hilary R Clinton?

Since when is it just okay to walk into a person's home to casually look for your friend, who doesn't even live there? Oh right I was reminded by ABCFamily not to ask stupid questions.

But seriously, Hanna walks into the DiLaurentis' house to find Emily and Mrs. D fervently making out on the couch.


Toby: Did my mother ever talk to you about music?
Dr. Palmer: For the last time, I have no fucking clue who your mother is. Now pass the rice pudding.


Well Ezra certainly dodged a bullet. 

Jake is fucking hot. It must be all the unagi.

Chill with the tears Ezra pretty sure Alex Mack went out of her way for 7 years to make sure you DIDN'T think Malcom was your child.

Also, am I supposed to be just fine that they wasted MAYBE an entire season on this Malcom bullshit and like, it's just over now? Why wait to take a paternity test now Ezzy? Also can you stop trying to call up your ex, despite the fact that she dresses like a female David Bowie, may we remind you that she still buys underwear from OshKosh B'Gosh.

Other thoughts that I should ignore for the sake of my sanity:

Can someone please remind me why Mona is back at Radley - the mental hospital? She confessed to a murder... they're acting like she wore flats to high school.

Sooooo like Jenna was bludgeoned in the head and left to die last week but we're just going to forget about that. I mean I get it, there are more important things to do like have tea with Ali's mom and eat celebratory burritos with your Sensai boyfriend.

I love that they can just take characters that were once normal a couple seasons ago (i.e. the Cecinator and Wren) and make them all of a sudden evil. On the other hand, after hearing that Cece vividly remembers all events from a party that happened 4 years ago, I could see how she turned into a huge psychotic loser.

Seriously Wren, you can't spell 'diagnosis'? Try Rizzuto...

What did Emily see in the DiLaurentis' basement? To me they looked like some holes poked in the ceiling but the petrified look on Emily's face seemed as though someone flashed her their dick.




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