Pretty Little Liars Recap: Girl in the Fugly Mask

By The Betches

After watching last night's episode of PLL, I got to thinking. Doesn't A ever get tired of all the scheming she does? Like does she ever think, "Mehhh, it's raining, I'll steal Emily's shoulder x-ray for no reason from the hospital tomorrow." The answer to this question is definitely no in which case I wonder if the girls ever get bored of solving murder mysteries. Like their lives are hard enough, from having to make life changing decisions for their moms to mask modeling, don't they ever wish they had the free time for funtivities? Like drunk brunch or like, getting drunk in general. I sometimes want to throw a bottle of Svedka at Spencer's head but it'll be a total waste because instead of drinking it she'll probably want to calculate its density. Whatevs, more shots for me.

Can we also discuss the creepy mask man from last night? Like HOW many creeps could there possibly be in this small ass town. Put aside the fact that there's a large group of individuals out to ruin the lives of four fairly innocent girls whose only crimes were sneaking into morgues and dating a fugly bro, there are a large amount of weirdos in Rosewood. Wilden, that motel owner, EZRA, Nole Kahn, Pastor Ted, the list goes on! But during the whole mask scene I really just wanted the guy to be like I DONT NEED A HAND I NEED A FACE. If you understood that reference, you may sit with us.


Because anyone can just walk into a detectives office and take a picture of a murder mystery board. Hanna was probably looking at that cork board and was like super happy they picked a picture where she looked skinny.

How do Caleb and Hanna's dad keep finding each other without the use of a cellphone? Am I supposed to believe they use FourSquare so efficiently? Caleb just checked in…on the side of the road.

Speaking of Caleb, when's he going to shower?


It's fucking Plato over here

Again with the old movies Aria? They don't even have this shit on Netflix. Go watch Superbad or something.

And why are you on a date in the same place as your mom?

AND nope, Aria's mom, you def can't go to Austria and leave your two kids who are in high school. You just can't.


Chill out Em its just a little oxy.

You're just upset that Bruce wasn't prancing in circles around you shouting in happiness about having lesbian sex in your dorm room next year. Come to think of it, I could totally see Bruce doing Prancercise.


An internship, Melissa? Aren't you like 30.

Spencer uses Phone Look up Doctor. It's almost as good as Go Quest Go.

I love sisters who catch up like this: "Well Wilden's dead. Someone ran him over with their car and killed him. Also, mom wants you to clean your room."

Yeah that red mask looks like Melissa, if Melissa looked like the devil from Little Nicky. 

What the fuck was Spencer wearing!? That long dress with a blazer? She looked like Alanis Morissette on Wall Street.

Toby to Spencer: "A always knows when you're at your weakness. Like when Hanna's craving ice cream at 2 am."




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