Pretty Little Liars Recap: HalloLAME

By The Betches

I seriously can't believe they followed up such an amazing cliff hanger (... that Ezra is poss not def A) with this bullshit Halloween episode. I literally spent 40% of the episode trying to remember what the girls were even looking for, 10% painting my nails during the bus scenes, and the other 50% wondering when the fuck they had time to find such theme appropriate halloween 'stumes. "We MUST find our dead friend who has been taking over our lives during our formative years when we're supposed to be getting drunk and having sex ..who is now also casually alive, but not before I dress up as Kathy Bates!"

BUT really. Were they kidding with this episode? More specifically, were they KIDDING with that transition into Ravenswood? Hanna just assumed that Caleb wanted to stay in this fucktarded town that's in a permanent state of X-Pro II to help his half Asian twin find her uncle? In real life this is how the conversation would have gone:

Hanna: you should stay here
Caleb: I dont fucking want to wtf
Hanna: no stay with this pretty girl thats how good of a girlfriend I am
Caleb: if you were a good girlfriend you would actually blow me once in your life instead of make me hack you and all your friends fucking computers.

But since proximity to reality is not PLL's strong suit, we're going to reluctantly accept Caleb's desire to stay with a bitch he just met and discuss other absurd shit that happened during this haphazard Halloween writer's room brain fart.

And yes, we're going to make these notes as unorganized as the episode's plot:

What was Emily wearing? She looked like a gender-confused cast member of Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Didn't the girls get the memo that fugly era-specific hats are not how teens are supposed to dress for Halloween?

That bus looked like it was stolen off the set of Pleasantville. Like I get this show is not very accurate but would it have hurt to take a Greyhound?

Girl on bus sporting Caleb's haircut: I'm Miranda
Caleb: Omg that's so funny because I'm such a Charlotte.

Miranda was really into getting that guys chips. After all they were made of corn… gluten-free!!

Was it me or were Hanna's boobs out of control last night? It reminded me of that time when I was getting ready for junior prom at my friend's house and her mom was like, "is it necessary to have your boobs pushed up to your chin?" And I was like, "um yea." Great, I feel like Mrs. Cohn right now.

How the decisions making process works in all four of these girls' heads: Let's all go down into the basement of a crypt where there'll probably be no service and where we're all definitely going to get stuck because that's what always happens. We're going to seem shocked when we lose one of our friends but we won't be that worried because she's going to magically reunite with her boyfriend, but not before she has a small bout with A which she will come out unscratched. Once that's all over, we are going to go home. In the morning we're going to put on our heels, get coffee, and do the same thing over again but maybe with less ugly hats. Yay.

"I'm at a pay phone trying to call home" - Hanna

But really is Hanna in a time machine? Hot tub time machine.

Can someone please find me a gif of Emily's acting because it actually kills me. Try googling: shay mitchell pretty little liars bug eyed panting.

Jk found it:

I'm confused as to what Miss Trundle does…is she house mom / psychic / crypt keeper / Acuvue blue colored contact model?

Couldn't have said it better myself:
Spencer: one of us knows how to change a tire right
Emily: and you're looking at me because I'm gay?

I wonder how Toby, Mona, and Bruce spent their Halloweens. Did somebody say threesome?

Omg Ali is alive! Their reaction to seeing Alison was as if someone just asked them to take a shit while reciting the quadratic formula. Fab five back together again!

Ali: Remember what I told you at the hospital Hanna?
Hanna: Are you fucking kidding me? That was like 2 seasons ago. 




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