July 31, 2013
Last night's episode of PLL was a pretty big snoozefest as each of the characters went off on their own to investigate new boring side plots that no one gives a shit about. Like, the only thing I care about less than whether or not Toby's mom killed herself is Aria's brother's new karate kid story line. In what proved to be the only interesting twist on this show, Mona confessed to murdering Wilden and Caleb dressed up as a Navajo woman by sporting some sort of man purse and traditional Indian garb style denim jacket.
Finally, we hit the joke making jackpot as ABC cast Rumer Willis to play Emily's Habitat For Humanity group leader making Paige/aka Rumer's dad Bruce look as beautiful as Miranda Kerr in comparison. Thanks to Rumer's very obvious and intensive plastic surgery, she managed to look decent. But really, do you think Shay Mitchell is pissed off that all the writers of this show keep doing is pairing her up with fugly lesbians with intensive man jaws and shitty acting skills? I guess that's what happens when you have the cinematic presence of Terri Schiavo.
Emily's plotline continues to be boring as fuck. What happened to her perc addiction? I would've loved to see her in withdrawal, whoring herself out for oxy, or at least like, making a different facial expression.
Hey Emily, someone drove a car through your house. Maybe time to tell the truth.
Rumer Willis: "We had to pry the electric drill out of your hands." I wish someone would stab me with an electric drill rather than have to endure this awful nepotistic hack job they call acting.
Emily's mom breaks down in tears at the thought of her having to spend an entire summer in Nicaragua with Rumer Willis.
Again, Ashley Marin with the mascara and lip gloss in prison. You can't just put someone's hair in a pony tail and pretend they look like shitty.
Why is Mona dressed like a geisha? I don't understand how Mona is suddenly like not a raging psychopath. Oh right, nevermind.
Hanna: I need help turning myself into a lying sociopath so I figured maybe you could help me out.
Hanna WOULD forgo SAT tutoring to get trained by Mona on how to confess to murdering a cop.
Hanna: The police took all the high heels out of the house and left us with nothing.
Mona: They left you with nothing but flats? That's barbaric.
I bet Toby actually stole all the shoes and wears them with his black hoodie.
Mona and Caleb actually look like brother and sister.
This whole Mona coaching Hanna thing plays out like a scene from Chicago "and then they both reached for the gun the gun the gun"
Hanna sends out a group text saying she confessed to killing Wilden. Kind of makes your bestie groups chats to coordinate your sushi group dinner seem pretty dull huh?
Aria's dress looks like she was raped by a comic book. Who would ever wear that to school?
Mike: I need to spend time with these guys. I need to impress them with my Unagi. Spicy Salmon roll.
What is with this lame fucking Insidious 2 movie placement?
"A really likes throwing cars at people." THIS SHOW IS A JOKE
What the fuck is Spencer wearing? She looks like she's wearing a slutty porno school girl outfit. Chill with the ties, there's only room for one lesbian on this show.
How many men who peruse through Spencer's kitchen is she inevitably gonna wind up fucking. There's no way I didn't catch that sexual tension between her and the 17 year old DA.
A is now using power tools? She must be one of Emily's new girlfriends.