Pretty Little Liars Recap: Killing Me Softly With Her Scarf

By The Betches

Omg you guys PLL was so good last night, said no one with any significant amount of brain activity. I mean if they’re not going to do anything plot wise, at least put the liars in chic outfits. Like what the FUCK was that blazer Alison was wearing? If you’re trying to escape your hometown you’d put on a hoodie and leggings not a robins egg blue blazer. Ali looked like she was about to attend a business woman’s luncheon or tea with her grandma but was like, planning to lend her grandma her outfit. And then when she was finally ready to leave her house she put on a fucking yellow scarf so ugly that A tried to strangle her with it. She should have finished the job…it was yellow. Attention PLL costume department, Ali attends high school not an 1840's Seneca Falls convention. And don’t worry, we’ll get to Spencer’s smock later.


Oh no one was in Toby’s house during this massive explosion? Shocker.

Caleb: I think you guys need to tell the cops who’s behind this.

Hanna: I had no idea when you’d come back Ravenswood would eventually be cancelled.

Alison wants to run away. You know what, that’s a good idea u guys should all fucking move.

Great the detective from Cheers is back! And finally getting to the question of isn’t it kinda funny that Shana gets murdered in Ezra’s Family Theater the night after Ezra gets shot!? They need to fire the entire Rosewood police department. I’ve seen better detective work in Dumb and Dumber.

Aria: Omg brill. Let’s totally put the evidence in my attic because you and I don’t have an illegal relationship and I have never done anything wrong like kill anyone teehehehe.

Has Aria’s dad run away with his gay lover to Syracuse or something? Like why is he chilling there for so long?

How many private, one-piece clad locker room rendezvous do Emily and Bruce have per season?

Travis and Hanna have the chemistry of 2 dead frogs.

When Emily and Ali were having their sleepover I was like whoaaaa Emily’s wet dream was about to become a wet reality. But instead, Emily just creepily watched her sleep in her outfit from the day over the covers. Who sleeps in their clothes? And like, brush your teeth, that’s fucking gross.

Ok so there’s no way A’s hoodie wouldn’t have flew off during her fight with Alison and Emily. What, is it glued on to her head? Like who does she think she is, Danny Devito?


Omg Spencer’s fucking Laney Boggs smock. Is that real? She looks like she’s about to start a shift at Fun Craft. If the Hastings had a family flag, it’d be a pair of khakis.

Spencer: You’re seeing Ezra again!?
Aria: Just two dick slips!!!

Spencer’s dad on killing Alison’s mom: I wouldn’t take a life to cover up something you did. I don’t love you THAT much.

Caleb and Hanna sharing a flask like they’re back at the reservation.

But really, first Spencer with her Adderal addiction now Hanna with the alcohol, what's next Aria gets hooked on crystal?

Aria: I’m not gonna pretend I don't miss it Ezra, you were really good at going down on me.

The close up of Bruce screaming about the rat (????) in her locker for reasons unknown was the most priceless thing I have ever seen in my life and probably ruined her career.

Can someone please tell me what the fuck A even wants from these girls. She doesn’t want Ali to leave...All she wants is to blow up empty houses and go to funerals dressed up in burkas.

HAHAHA The girls alibi for that casual time Aria murdered Shana is "nm jc in Philly."




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