Pretty Little Liars Recap: Addy WithdrawAl is Not a Thing

By The Betches

I’m convinced the writers are throwing darts at a wall filled with index cards of random plot lines and will write about whatever they land on. Ezra’s just an honest journalist who will do whatever it takes, sleep with as many children as possible, to get a deal with Random House? SURE. Will we make everyone think he’s “A" for a sec and then change everyone’s minds the next sec, discarding all clues the Liars have uncovered. DEF. Will Spencer be convinced she killed Alison because she was ODing on Adderall even though hitting your friends on the head with shovels is not a typical side effect of adderall. UH HUHHHHH. Will we do something realistic for once? FUCK THAT.


Last recap we referenced Zoolander on this one, but this is an actual quote. "Ezra is not A he’s a great a writer who found a great opportunity to make a name for himself as an investigatory journalist.”

Is Aria upset that Ezra tricked her at the bar or because she was like, so much skinnier back then?

So basically PLL just took Ezra from like hot and endearing statutory rapist to creepy stalker “A" to like calculated opportunist? Yeah they did.

I’m so confused, like didn’t Ezra try to kill them in Ravenswood? Now that that show is cancelled, what’s going to happen to that apartment? Is Caleb gonna come back? Maybe Hanna got fat because he left her for a ghost skank.

Aria, you should go back to dating the karate kid.

Pukey Hale! Is she like preggers?

I’m confused as to how the validity of Aria’s relationship is more important to her than the fact that he like watches her friends in the shower.

Aria’s like Chandler infiltrating Monica’s messy closet.

Ezra’s a total perv, any cop who raided that apartment would think this was child porn.

At first Aria did not know it was his diary. She thought it was a sad handwritten book. I’d be more freaked out that I could love someone who kept a diary.

Aria, leggings are not pants. “These are all that fit me right now”

Can somebody please make a citizens arrest and publicly execute the wardrobe department of this show.

Aria then goes all apeshit and trashes Ezra’s apartment. She is so Marissa Cooper season 2 right now

Side note, Ezra’s apartment was so clean (before Aria’s roid rage). How come when people get out of town on television shows they always do a major cleanup of their apt before they leave? When I go to the Hamptons for the weekend my apartment looks like Sochi.



Emily WOULD just have all the cash overflowing in her bag.

Does Bruce have no friends?  Bruce: "I knew you were lying about your grandma and her coffee cans." Ugh will you get off Emily’s dick. GOD.

Its hilar that they are trying to transition Bruce into a chapstick lesbian. Sorry bitch, but you’re still butch

Bruce: Can you slot me in?
Emily: Is that an innuendo?

Ohhhh Bruce anonymously tips the policemen about Ali being alive by dropping a note into their car. A note! So Brilliant. They’re def going to see it because who doesn’t fervently search their car for tiny pieces of paper that look like receipts/napkins/other shit before they get into their car?



Nice flowery pantsuit Hanna you look like Richard Simmons.

Heft, stop trying to make out with every guy who talks to you for 5 minutes. Just because he thinks you can read good doesn’t mean he thinks he should go to jail. Why is statutory rape an actual theme on this show?



Why is PLL going out of their way to besmirch the holy creation that is adderall. You cant get addicted to it like that. There is no withdrawal. And there’s no withdrawal medication. You def don’t look like Spencer when you’re off of it. What happens is you get a little tired, and sometimes a little fat.

REHAB!? Really? For a couple pills and a missed country club dinner? I don’t think so!

Spencer, first of all, why would you ever take pills that A gave you. Second, taking like 5 adderalls at a time will completely counteract any of the benefits of like taking adderall. You’re trying to solve a mystery not make it through your 8th night in Ibiza.

How did Spencer get cronuts in Rosewood? And doesn’t she realize that her boyfriend only eats flies that he catches with his extendable tongue? Fucking Toady.

Spencer: Hey you guys, shouldn’t we take some of these documents containing pivotal evidence about Ali’s murder and A’s existence before we go?
The rest of the tards: Not now Spencer, Aria’s having a bad day.




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