Pretty Little Liars Recap: The Garden, The Bitch, and Fugly Wardrobe

By The Betches

I can’t necessarily say last night’s episode of PLL was by any means a good one. Nothing happened except for Hanna’s BIG change aka she colored in a couple of pieces of her hair with sharpie and Spencer did some gardening amidst a crime scene in world’s worst pig tails. #SPENCERSBRAIDS


Cool hat Aria. Are you gonna sing in the rain later? Slutty Mime Girl Problems.

Mona literally shows up in every scene and says something sassy / murdery to someone and then walks away so it begs the question…WTF does Mona do all day besides show up places unannounced and say shit no teen would ever say.

Anyone else notice “Kyla is the best” written in Spencer’s locker? Unless I don’t remember some little detail from the 503902 past seasons which is highly possible, these bitches have no other friends besides their liar besties, their shirtless boyfriends, lesbian lovers, and parents when convenient.

"We need to take a psychological selfe right now” - Spencer. While no one would ever say that like ever, I really like this phrase and will say it to my mom when she bitches at me.

What’s wrong with Aria? Is she having a Ring moment on the school computer? Also, who videotapes anything at a funeral and puts it on youtube for public viewing. Like during an open casket no less. That’s creepy AF. And, why didn’t she answer that girl from her AP class’s IM back? Bitch.

In other news I really like Emily’s top it reminds me of a Stella McCartney bag and does not resemble her normal choice in outfit: flannel.

Why does Ali sign her name in her text messages? BUELLER? BUELLER?

Hmmmm are the cops really not looking into why a high school teacher was shot, a student at Rosewood was killed, a girl who everyone thought was dead is now alive but now her mom is dead all within 1-2 weeks and like the FBI and Rosewood Police barely give a shit!??!? Nah probs not.

Ezra: I know how to distract you from the fact that you killed a girl, CHECKERS!


Omg Lucas was homeschooled?! What a jungle freak.

Alison to her dad: I’m not the same person I was 2 years ago. I’m way fatter now.

HAHAHAHAHA: Spencer’s mom: Do you think we can hire Toby to clean the yard?

The medicine that killed Ali’s mom is called Losartan. It is a medicine for losers.

Doctor to Alison: You have quite powerful lungs young lady. Must be from smoking all the dope.

Bruce: Just curious, do you ever wonder when you became the very thing you’re afraid of?
Mona: Do you ever wonder if there’s more to life than being really really ridiculously butchy?

Spencer’s Dad: I sent your mother to a spa
Spencer: A spa? What spa? Why the fuck did no one invite me?

Surprise surprise, Aria’s parents are away! Despite it being one of the most potentially depressing/confusing times in her life when her presumably dead bestie comes back from the grave, Dad MUST go to upstate with brother Mike! And mom is out being a whore, obvi.

LOLOLOL Hanna dyes 1% of her hair black and is now the girl who shoplifts fugly crop tops from Hot Topic.




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