July 10, 2013
Last night's episode of Pretty Little Liars was so stupid that I couldn't help but think it was pure genius. The quotes were amazing, the outfits were absurd, and Hanna's stupidity superseded anything she's ever done (i.e. cut her hair, push a police car into a pond, date
a woman/man Caleb. But let's discuss this episode:
Spencer and Emily visit a college called Cicero (…Lipschitz) only to attend the most boring party ever. Of course, with the exception of Hanna getting arrested! Meanwhile Aria is like freaking out because her mom refuses to go to Austria for a year with her seemingly underage boyfriend. Seriously, what's with all the statutory rape in this show? There are more adult-child relationships than an episode of Big Love. Finally, her mom gets attacked by bees in a freak bee fight accident. Like I said, pure genius.
Member of Al Qaeda/the Britney Spears is a good look for Ashley Marin.
Okay like I couldn't pick a lock if I tried, these girls get it in one shot. Fucking Spy Kids.
Your mom's closet is like Monica Geller's secret closet of crap.
Hanna apparently got her nails done at McDonalds.
Hanna takes the gun she finds in her mom's locked closet and brings it to a sorority party and tries to bury it with a cup…. so like, Mensa scholar.
So why does your dad speak like Batman?
You're not interested in Polynesian studies!? PUCK YOU MISS
Emily's dad gives her money to "buy a new handbag if you want" Yeah.. more like a swim cap
Obvi the lez is dying to go to the sorority party.
Why's the admissions advisor 1. at a sorority party 2. hitting on a 17 year old 3. wearing a mucus green cardigan?
Why does everyone on this show think they're Robin Hood like stop walking through the fucking woods.
No one who is caught in a swarm of bees decides to fight them. Like, you fucking run.. Who do you think you are, Pooh?
That was the fakest swarm of bees I've ever seen since My Girl.
Love that pirate skirt made of ties … said maybe one person ever: Miss Lippy.
Aria was involved with some of the most amazing quotes this episode:
Aria's brother: "You want her to leave so can start boffing your teacher again" ...I nearly died when her brother yelled this at her because WHO SAYS that? The word "bof" just reminds me of 11th grade French.
Aria's brother: "Frisky with Fitz" I wish I came up with this line.
"Four wheel hive."
Spencers mom to Hanna's mom: "I've got a contact at Rosewood PD!" .. Who? The other mom?
When we heard that the House Mom's name was Carla Grunwald I heard Carla Grundle. So naturally I died.
Aren't secret doors not supposed to open that easily? Hence the secret part.
Spencer to Aria on the phone: WELL IT AIN'T TIPPY THA' BIRD!!
This was probably the best exchange of my life:
Spencer: A Lannister always pays his debts
Weirdo: You WOULD like the Lannisters
Spencer: I could give you the entire Targaryen speech from the end of season one but I won't waste my breath.