4 Things To Eat To Prevent Your Hangover, Thank Fucking God

By Betchy Crocker

Spring break is nearly upon us; thus, we must revisit a terribly unfortunate topic: hangovers—also known as the slow poisoning of your body.

It’s terrible and sad, but it happens to the best of betches. No matter how much water or which hangover reducing foods you eat AFTER the fact, you’ll still wake up with that pounding headache, vomit mouthfeel, and wonderfully constant spinning feeling

What you need is to combat these ailments BEFORE liquor ever passes your lips. We’ve rounded up four foods to cram in your mouth hole before a night on the town in Cancun, Bermuda, or wherever the fuck you’re getting your break onnn.


Sounds totally gross, but, honestly, chugging a glass of the white stuff can actually slow the absorption of alcohol—preventing your hangover the next morning. The protein and fat content don’t hurt in that regard, either.


Salt can sometimes be your friend, and eating things like pickles and olives before drinking can help your body have the right amount of sodium which, of course, helps ward off hangover symptoms.


According to a bunch of smart Asians (Koreans, to be exact), special amino acids in asparagus can help your body more easily break down alcohol. So, munching a bunch of roasted, steamed, or even raw asparagus before heading out will give your body the superpower it needs to take lots of shots.


Obviously, you don’t want to eat anything that’ll make you bloat before squeezing into those jeans you have a love/hate thing with. Nomming on a spinach salad before drinking will help tame your vodka-filled evening because of all the folic acid, sulphur, and vitamin C in that leafy green—all of which help keep the hangover spins/headaches/nausea at bay.

LOL wow don’t eat all of those together because that’d be more reason to vom the next morning. But, honestly, trust us on these. We definitely had less of a hangover when we ate a shit ton of asparagus before getting black out. 




Powered by Disqus




Forgot Your Password?

Create new account

User login