April 15, 2015
If you went to prom as an underclassman you understand that dating older guys has its perks. But from college and beyond, climbing the elder tree can have many ups as downs. Sure, age is only a number, but so is height and salary and those things matter too.
Generally speaking, older guys are more mature. Even if they’re not like, mature for their age – because let’s face it, they’re not dating girls their age – they’re more mature than other guys your age. If you’re in college, dating a 30 year old with a job, car, and his own apartment can seem like a much better alternative to sharing a twin bed in a dorm with a roommate. By default of where you are in life, older guys have more to offer in the relationship.
In terms of emotional attention, five to ten years can make a big difference. Dating someone born in the decade before you means they had more time to figure out their shit and are less likely to play emotional games with you. While bros your age are saying shit like “I don’t want anything serious” or “let’s not put a label on it,” older guys tend to know what they want and less shy about expressing it. Plus, they are less likely to ghost via text as they are still figuring out what emojis are themselves. He’s more likely to call you to ask you out or see how your day was – which might feel creepy at first, but actually can be a lot nicer than a “sup” on your screen.
Finally – more experienced guys often have better taste. They grew up before you which means they can introduce you to older shows, music, etc, but they’re also hip to current pop culture. This means you have twice as much to talk about so your conversations are always interesting.
Dating older guys is not an automatic George Clooney situation. Often times, the question begs itself – if he’s 30, what can a 22 year old possibly have to offer him? Meaning – when you’re in college, the idea of dating a high school kid is repulsive to you… as it should be. Therefore, guys your age dating down are likely losers in their own class. A thirty year old with a job might seem like a catch to a freshman in college, but his job might be mediocre to his peers.
If the gap is wide enough, you might feel more insecure than you need to ever be. Namely – if he shows any objection to meeting your friends, you’ll feel like you’re not good enough or that you’ll never quite catch up to him. On the flip side, you might feel weird taking him to mixers with you where everyone thinks he’s like, the chaperone. Awkward.
While some older guys are more emotionally sound and mature – it’s also very likely that he’s cradle robbing because he can’t move on with his life. Older bros might have just as much emotional hold-up as bros your age, if not more if their reason for dating young is to avoid commitment and thinking about “the future.” Consider why dating a younger girl with lots of life to experience can seem tempting to an older bro who feels like he’s running out of time himself. Your presence is like his fountain of youth, and he might keep dating younger as you both get older, Matthew McConaughey style. When you’re in your thirties, he could still be dating college girls.
Who you date should be up to you- so long as he’s respectful of you and not a loser, obvs. But in the case of older guys, there are two main types. One – you’re just mature for your age and he isn’t like into dating younger girls as a thing – but it just happened. And Two – He’s into younger girls or you’ve got a thing for older guys. The first situation is the best while the second is a thirst trap for embarrassment, shame, and a bad breakup. How to spot the latter – if he’s hesitant to tell you his age but he knows yours, or if he never introduces you to his friends, then you might have a predator on your hands.
Date older if you want – but only if you’re both as excited about each other’s lives as you would be if you were the same age.