January 16, 2015
Whether you DGAF about football or if you’re a diehard fan, you’ll probably participate in viewing the Super Bowl if you’re American. TBH the Super Bowl is less of a game than a three hour advertisement with occasional breaks for football, but it’s also one of the most watched television events of the year so who are we to criticize. After all, it’s really just a party, and we love parties.
When it comes to making Super Bowl plans, an ambitious betch might consider hosting her own Super Bowl party. This is a slippery field to toss on, because on one hand, betches throw the best parties, but on the other hand, it’s a lot of work.
Spending Sunday funday at a sports bar can be a great way to cure your Sunday anxiety during the regular season, but come the big game, bars are generally to be avoided. For one thing, it’s full of people that you don’t know and therefore don’t like. And, even if your bro friends bought one of those tables with built in keg taps, getting table service at a place that does dollar beers every Tuesday is far from ideal. Hosting your own party keeps your guests to people you like or at least friends of people you like.
If you are one of the lucky fans that had your team make it to the Super Bowl, and you like actually care, then a plus side of hosting your own party is that you don’t have to deal with anyone less enthusiastic than you. Like, your door policy can be color coded against the opposing team and you can make everyone do whatever good luck ritual you’ve obsessively done before every game (and apparently works, if your team is in the Super Bowl).
If you don’t care which team wins, then hosting can also be annoying in that you’ve got to pick a side to support publicly. Half the fun of watching the Super Bowl is screaming at the opposing team, even if you couldn’t care less who actually wins. As the host, your choice will probably guide the rest of the party’s morale, so like, that’s a lot of pressure.
Oh yeah, and you’ll probably have to provide food. For some reason, bros seem to be able to eat more food the more beer they drink, so get ready to make your famous spinach artichoke dip like twenty times. The pros of this are like, everyone loves a betch that can cook, even if “cooking” means making guac and buying a bag of Tostitos. Perfect time to put out the vibe for a Valentine's Day hookup.
The best part of hosting a Super Bowl party is that aside from like getting drinks and putting on a jersey, you have to do little else to make sure everyone has a good time. You don’t have to leave your apartment and deal with drunk basics at bars, and you can have as many wings as you want because duh, it’s your house. Also, bonus because you can get as drunk as you want without embarrassing yourself because it's your fucking house.
The worst part of hosting a Super Bowl party is when the game ends and that one guy wants to like, watch New Girl (or whatever the lead-out program is this year, Google it I don’t care) instead of going home like an adult and going to bed. To that we say, if you’re going to host a Super Bowl party, just make sure that unlike Jim Harbaugh, you have a clean exit strategy that won’t piss people off.