May 22, 2015
Stop what you're doing, go to the nearest liquor store, and buy all the prosecco you can find.
It's the apocalypse: there's about to be a global prosecco shortage. Apparently, last summer was a really shitty year for grape growers in Italy and their harvests were down by 50%, aka half of your brunches will be sans prosecco. The Italian vineyard assholes are hoarding their prosecco so that they can raise prices, because they understand that a betch will sacrifice her first born child for a strawberry prosecco sangria.
At least it's not champagne.