Prosecco Shortage Threatens Summer 2015 | Betches

Prosecco Shortage Threatens Summer 2015

By Queen Elizabetch

Stop what you're doing, go to the nearest liquor store, and buy all the prosecco you can find.

It's the apocalypse: there's about to be a global prosecco shortage. Apparently, last summer was a really shitty year for grape growers in Italy and their harvests were down by 50%, aka half of your brunches will be sans prosecco. The Italian vineyard assholes are hoarding their prosecco so that they can raise prices, because they understand that a betch will sacrifice her first born child for a strawberry prosecco sangria.

First the avocado shortage and now the prosecco drought, it's going to be a long fucking summer.

At least it's not champagne.




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