July 14, 2014
A few loose cannons have done unfortunate things to their hair [Britney, 2007], and everyone thought they were psycho. Recently though, legions of people are willing to dye their entire head electric orange or shave half of it off just be-fucking-cause. After witnessing the Skrillex side-shave grow out of 2013, we assumed people would stop doing this shit.
Nothing says regret like this.
The Crayloa dye job trend has gone mainstream in the past few months, while we were patiently waiting for it to dye (...) out. Just on principle, no one should be following the lead of 2005 Kelly Osbourne. It wasn’t cool then and it isn’t cool now. You can gram a filtered selfie and have green hair look kind of not ugly, but in person you look will look like a troll.
Certain celebrities can pull anything off, but this trend is spreading beyond them, and we don’t like where it’s going. Nicole Richie went grey then purple and now I guess she's blue. It looks fine because she’s Nicole Richie and after The Simple Life, we love her forever. But randos like Rumor Willis and Demi Lovato have decided to taste the rainbow, and it looks gross.
Model Chloe Norgaard, who looked amazing blonde, has taken it upon herself to single-handedly fund the primary color hair dye industry, and that’s an industry that shouldn’t exist. I guarantee that, unless you're Katy Perry in a music video, if you dye your hair blue, you will look worse. You just will.
We can’t seem to find any redeeming qualities in this trend, and like a bad dream or a Bruno Mars song, really just want it to end.