Cinco De Mayo Week Continues: Queso Fundido

OLE. We continue our tour of Mexican eating with another probs totally not Mexican dish: queso. Give us salsa and queso, chips, and we’re good for days. Like honestly, is there anything more worth fucking up your diet for? No. There isn’t.

Add some meat to your queso, our Mexican version of fondue, and you have a full, balanced meal! Shit, add some chips and there you have your grains! Fuck, add some cilantro and jalapeños, and you’ve knocked out vegetables! Food pyramid level: 100.


  • ½ lb chorizo sausages, uncooked, casings removed
  • ¼ cup yellow onion, diced
  • ½ cup Negra Modelo or other lager if you don’t have this shit
  • 1 cup mozzarella, grated
  • ½ cup pepperjack cheese, grated
  • ½ cup Oaxaca cheese (substitute more mozzarella if you can’t find it, floser)
  • 1 large jalapeño, diced (remove seeds and ribs if you’re a pussy)
  • ½ cup fresh pico de gallo for serving (you can make your own or buy it)

Got all your Mexican shit? Good. In a saucepan over medium heat, cook the chorizo, breaking it up with a wooden spoon as you go. Give that shit about a minute, or until it starts releasing that delicious grease, then throw in the onion. Keep cooking until the onion is soft, about 5 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, get that shit out onto a paper towel-lined plate. In the now empty saucepan, add the beer and simmer, stirring to get up any stuck-on bits.

Using a whisk, slowly add in the cheeses, mixing into the beer and allowing it to become smooth and nice. Stir in the chorizo onion mixture and jalapeno. 

Remove from heat and top with the fresh pico. Serve with your fav tortilla chips and lots of margs. YAYYY. 




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