November 6, 2014
If there were two words to describe our adolescent years it’d be: boy bands. Between *NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, New Kids, and 98 Degrees’ one song, there were just a constant stream of good-looking men putting out catchy songs about good-looking women. But instead of writing 4 paragraphs on who was the best Backstreet Boy (it was Brian, Nick is overrated) we’re going to do a throwback to the boy bands you’ve probably forgotten about.
Apparently it stood for Lyte Funky Ones—I guess you learn something new every day—LFO was a group of 3 guys who brought you hits like “Summer Girls” and “Girl on TV”…they had a very wide range of interests. They were the lyrical geniuses behind “New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits / Chinese food makes me sick” and “When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet / Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets.” Oh, and let’s not forget “When I met you I said my name is Rich. You look like a girl from Abercrombie & Fitch.”
I really don’t have that much to say about BBMak so I’ll just leave this video link here.
Back in summer camp in like 5th grade, All or Nothing was the fucking jam. O-Town also had this lesser-known song called Liquid Dreams that is about exactly what it sounds like. Mini TBT to when Ashley Parker Angel had his own reality show and promised everyone that he would give his kid a normal ass name because he got made fun of mercilessly for being a boy named Ashley, and then he named his kid…Lyric.
Evan & Jaron were a pair of identical twins [insert twin fantasy here] named…you guessed it…Evan and Jaron Lowenstein (possible NJB’s?). They apparently released 3 albums which comes as a shock to me because they only had 2 relevant songs so idk what was on the rest of those albums aside from remixes of Crazy For This Girl and From My Head to my Heart. Special shouts out to Evan & Jaron though because when Sam Goody was going out of business I got their CD for 10 cents. True story.
AKA the band that launched Omarion into relevance AKA Baby, turn around and let me see that sexy body go BUMP BUMP BUMP. What did B2K stand for? Boyz 2 Kidz? Was it a Y2K reference? Also, what happened to the guys who were not Omarion? The world may never know.
So thank you, lesser-known boy bands who made up the playlist of many a betch’s bat mitzvah or middle school dance. You may be gone, but you are not forgotten. #NeverForget