April 22, 2014
We talked about turning up/turnt up/turn down for what a while back, now up next in appropriated betchy linguistics comes every betch’s new favorite word, ratchet.
Remember back in like the early 2000’s when everyone’s go-to word to describe something less than desirable was “ghetto?” When betches everywhere were like, “Ugh I just found out my parents are downsizing from our 2.5 million dollar home to a 2.1 million dollar home…sooooo ghetto.”
Ratchet is pretty much exactly like that. According to
my one friend who’s super into rap for whatever reason Urban Dictionary, the word ratchet came from like, people continually mispronouncing “wretched” or whatever. I can't confirm if any of what i just said is true but you can see it.
Just like when everything was “ghetto,” pretty much anything can be ratchet. Your roots are showing? Rachet. You're wearing blotchy self tanner? Ratchet. Your manicure’s chipping? Ratchet. You're wearing leggings and have a VPL? Get it together, that shit is fucking ratchet. You're also probably a basic bitch, but that's for another lesson. Your ex-fave restaurant is only serving Diet Pepsi now? Not exactly ratchet, but you can fudge that one and it’ll probably slide.
Ratchet can also describe people in general. Like basically if anyone is acting trashy or otherwise whack, that’s ratchet. This is perfect for expanding your shit-talking vocab, particularly in the club. Next time you’re out, look around you, odds are there’s ratchetness everywhere…is the proper word ratchetry? I’m gonna go with rachetry, it sounds more intellectual. Perfect examples of ratchetry in the club include: a wasted girl tripping in her heels and ass-planting onto the dance floor; said wasted girl (or a different one, idgaf) puking in the bathroom; yet another girl making out with some guy at the bar while letting him shadily stick his hand up her bandage skirt; cat fights; twerking in general.
Now that I think about it, if you’ve ever been white girl wasted in the club, odds are some onlooker called you ratchet. Now you know.
As of yet there’s no substantial evidence to conclude a guy can be ratchet. For now “ratchet” and “ho” go hand in hand like “clue week” and “spending wayyy too much on monogrammed shit,” but maybe one day “ratchet bro” can happen. Will keep you posted on that one.
The only other thing that differentiates “ratchet” from “ghetto” is that unlike being ghetto, some people *cough cough Miley* actually aspire to be ratchet for whatever reason. Like we get it, you’re going through a quarter-life crisis and trying to shed your Disney roots and become a badass Rihanna and earn some street cred. But in reality if someone non-ironically calls you ratchet they’re basically saying you’re a hot mess and you need to get your shit together and like start actually wearing underwear when you leave the house.
There’s a reason the only line anyone knows from “Bandz a Make Her Dance” (aside from, ya know, “bandz a make her dance”) is, “You say no to ratchet pussy, Juicy J can’t.” That’s Juicy J’s way of kindly alerting you that anyone with functioning brain cells knows to stay away from ratchet hoes. And also you don’t want to be the only guy willing to hook up with you to be Juicy J, cause.. have you seen Juicy J?
Apologies for the ratchet picture.