Real World Roundup: Be careful, that is a Lewis Vuitton!

By The Betches

So by now we've all heard about the brawl that happened between Chris Brown and Drake over Rihanna's heart. Since this is a developing story, we thought we'd keep you updated that there are indeed other victims in this brawl other than Chris Brown's head and all the models that couldn't' get fucked up because their champagne was thrown into someone's head.  A 21 year old model named Ingrid Guttierez who is Team Chris Brown is thinking of suing Team Drake for a gash she got from a broken champagne bottle. Ingrid was all like pissed off because now she's going to have a hideous scar on her forehead and now no one will hire her and it will be a continuous reminder of the the time that dark wizard that killed her parents she fucked Chris Brown. Honestly though this whole war they've got going on against Rihanna could be the feud of the decade. The Lindsay Lohan vs. Hilary Duff for the Heart of Aaron Carter for this generation. I hope there's a shoot out. Read article>>

As long as Victoria Beckham stops being a cunt, there will indeed be a Spice Girls documentary about their rise to fame that is even better than the completely horrible Spice World. Vics tried to block the last documentary that was made and she's apparently the only one not fully on board. Talk about an awkward case of "I'm the skinniest and most famous so I make the rules." Sure a documentary without Victoria would be pretty lame but it's not like we don't already know what's going on with her now. And what is she really going to add to the documentary anyway? Riveting tales on how to look hot while not smiling? I just have to look in the mirror to tell that story. Read article>>

This article argues that schools should teach women how to find the right husbands. Ah, the real reason we would go to law school. In order to land a quality MRS Degree, Helen Fraser urges women to find partners who support what they want to do with their careers. We think this is excellent advice and now we just need this bitch to point us in the direction of the men who support our careers consisting of country club brunches and the occasional philanthropy event. Read article>>

Obstetrician Gynecologists are for poor people. Apparently the new status symbol is having a midwife to birth your baby that will clearly be predisposed to elitism upon exiting the womb. Seriously, what ever happened to a good old fashioned Moses in the basket on the river style midwife? Apparently like neon and solar power, it's a trend that doesn't make any fucking sense. What could be a better way to show the world how much money you have than to have your very own unqualified woman come to your house, take your baby out of your vagina, and then go on her merry way? Gone are the days of mass deliveries and sleepless nights for weary obstetricians. If a midwife's hands are good enough to touch Gisele's umbilical cord, I guess they're good enough for us. Read article>>

Louis Vuitton just lost a lawsuit they filed against the Hangover 2 producers, the WB. Louis sued them for tarnishing their brand name when Zach Garafanaklfdfdslj yells a woman for pushing his "Lewis Vuitton" bag. Ugh, the French are so uptight. The judge then told Louis to get a fucking sense of humor and that the joke was meant to highlight how nice the brand was by presenting a knockoff owned by a fat, bearded man. In the words of Countess Luanne I guess sometimes even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes. Read article>>

Last Thursday's Real World Roundup




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